What’s Your Dream? I love that line in Pretty Women. I might be showing my age these days with a Pretty Women quote, but surely that movie is still a classic!
“What’s your dream, everyone who comes to Hollywood has a dream”, from memory the movie both starts and ends with this line.
So I’m asking you, what’s your dream?
Let your Heart Sing
When was the last time you allowed yourself to hear the inner yearning, the inner longing, the truth of what really makes your heart sing.
As a coach, I deeply value the benefits that can be gained from coaching and have myself worked with coaches.
Interestingly, during my own coaching, I discovered an ache in my heart that was buried so deep I had no idea it was there.
One of my coaches described the heart as the land of broken dreams. It seemed likely that this ache was from my first broken dream… and my heart has been a little bit broken since I gave up on it.
The Land of Broken Dreams
My Dream, my deepest heart’s desire, since I was very young was to be a singer.
To share that publicly is super scary for me, but as I’m not making any commitments to make it happen in a ‘career change’ kind of way I’ve decided to share it here.
I also know that so much of my personal conditioning and patterns would never have allowed it to happen anyway.
One of those patterns was born of being an exuberant child, told that she was stealing the spotlight from another. Isn’t it incredible how we recall some events from childhood so clearly and others not at all.
So, it seems I have lived out a pattern to ‘hold myself back’ just a little bit. Never giving my all – but let’s put patterns and conditioning away for another day and get back to Dreams…
I LOVED to sing. In all those spare hours that existed in my teenage years I spent whole days singing along to the likes of Les Miserables, Joseph and his Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat, The Pirates of Penzance, Hair, Rent, Oklahoma – the list goes on and on. Often with a backing track of my sisters screaming out “Shut Up Jo”!
I took singing lessons, did singing exams and was in the school choirs and musicals. I even took Drama to year 12 and joined drama groups – but it became clear as I was looked over for any solo singing, that maybe, just maybe I wasn’t going to be the next Kylie Minogue (or should I more correctly say Marina Prior!).
My dream began to die… If I couldn’t be a ‘famous’ singer, or earn a living from singing, then I thought it was time to put it away. My parents sensibly recommended that I go to University (trigger ‘good girl, parent pleaser’ pattern!), even my Drama teacher suggested I wasn’t ready to audition for NIDA!
A fork and a new road
So, off I went sensibly to do a Commerce degree.
I clung desperately to singing with a few amateur musicals throughout Uni, but I didn’t give it the love, commitment and heart that it deserved and once I started working, the song in me was lost.
At some point, it was screaming to get out & I auditioned for Australian Idol! Argh! I guess I hoped they would see something in me & draw it out. I hadn’t had a singing lesson in years & all the preparation I did was an hour with a friend the day before on a big broadway number! I was chopped off at the knees with feedback along the lines of “there are serious singers here” as if I was just totally wasting their time… back in your box dream!
I began my adult life working in a big corporate and whilst I can reflect and say this was a detour from my soul’s path, I also know that without this detour I wouldn’t be where I am today.
Taking me off to London for 10 years it meant I got to see some fabulous Musicals and shows on stage. Until this recent broken dream realisation I hadn’t linked my overly emotional state at hearing the performers to something deeper than just enjoying the emotion of the song. Heck, I couldn’t even watch a movie with songs in it without being in floods of tears (did anyone else cry from beginning to end of Moana?!)
SO, back to that dream and what I’m doing about it now.
Acknowledging it and admitting it to myself has opened me up to singing again.
I can’t sing as well as I used to (YET!). I could let this fact frustrate me no end.
Reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic earlier this year I was so sad and angry with myself that I didn’t (as she did) spend time every day on the creative pursuit that I loved so much – even if it wasn’t earning me money or necessarily going anywhere.
I can make up excuses & wish that I had stuck to and learned to play the piano or taken up the guitar – but I don’t think it would have made any difference.
Singing in the shower, in the car, online singing lessons with some warm ups, I am reconnecting with my voice. My dream is being reborn as I allow my passion for singing to flow through me again. That is what I truly want, to know, feel and sense the joy I get from singing again – preferably without feeling that I’ll breakdown and cry!
My target songs for when I get that singing teacher will be Sara Bareilles ‘Brave’, Natasha Bedingfield’s ‘Unwritten’ or Alessia Cara’s ‘Wild Things’…
Although in truth I know it’ll be singing (& singing it well!) Wicked’s ‘Defying Gravity’ or Moana’s ‘How Far I’ll Go’ that will mean I’ve truly achieved my dream!
So… What’s your Dream?