Have you heard the saying ‘your vibe attracts your tribe’ and ‘where attention goes, energy flows’?
This is the basis of The Law of Attraction.
There is now a significant amount of scientific research on how & why the Law of Attraction works. My inner geek totally LOVES the research, from the neuroscience to evolution, to psychology, to spirituality but we won’t go there today.
I am always aiming to keep the soulful, simple, so let’s stick with the basics of The Law of Attraction. So basic that I will be using a children’s book to help explain it.
The last few nights, my 9yo daughter and I, have been reading a book called Sara – Book 1, subtitled – Sara learns the Secret about the Law of Attraction.
For those who aren’t familiar with these teachings, Esther (& Jerry) Hicks have many books focussed on the Law of Attraction.
I have a couple of the books – Ask and it is Given, and the Astonishing Power of Emotions, in my rather extensive personal development home library, but I never really connected with these ones. BUT the teachings of Solomon the owl in this Sara book were written for children – and therefore so easy to understand.
The key messages in the book were –
- We all have access to an eternal source of ‘well-being’.
- We also have the ability to CHOOSE to keep our inner valve open to this flow and stay feeling good or to close our valve, and not feel good.
- Without realising it, we are often focussing our attention on what we DON’T want, rather than what we DO want. When we do this we cut off our connection to this source of wellbeing energy.
A simple example would be someone cutting you off in traffic, it can be frightening and make us angry. It typically knocks us out of feeling good immediately. To imagine keeping our valve open and send love to that inconsiderate driver may seem a stretch, but that is what Solomon is teaching.
Whilst we are still learning this, we can have control over how long we then stay there, and whether we are attracting more of the same but staying focused on what we don’t want.
I know many people who will share the story with everyone they meet, and I wonder how much more this happens to them than to me?
If you believe in the Law of Attraction, that like-attracts-like, then it is easy to see how staying focused on what you ‘don’t’ want, in this case careless, inconsiderate drivers, rather than what you do want, safe road travel, is attracting more of the same toward you.
In the book, they play a game and my daughter and I decided to play too. Let’s call it the ‘yes’ game.
How can we begin saying ‘yes’ to what we DO want, rather than ‘no’ to what we DON’T want?
We discovered very quickly, as they did in the book, that it takes an effort to stick with the positive! And this doesn’t even touch on what we are saying to ourselves INSIDE!
A few examples from this morning “Stop doing that to your sister/brother”, “This is really hard”, “I can’t do this”, “No more screen time”, “No, you can’t have chocolate for breakfast”.
Making a conscious effort to create positive phrases instead would be something like:
- Let’s go and play a fun game together;
- With practice, this will be really easy;
- I love learning new things;
- I love connecting with you face to face;
- Let’s feed ourselves some beautiful, healthy food so we have lots of energy for the day.
Obviously using your own words – but WOW – have a try and see just how many things you are saying in the negative, rather than focusing that attention on what you do want in the positive.
It’s easy to do so much of this, unconsciously –
- I want to lose weight vs I want to feel fit and healthy and comfortable in my skin;
- My kid’s fight all the time vs We have a harmonious home;
- Don’t be late vs It’s great to be on time;
- The house is so messy vs I love having a tidy home, it helps me feel clear in my mind;
Where are you creating a vibration, giving it your attention and attracting in what you don’t want?
Have a play & see how this goes for you, I’d love to hear about it – let me know in the comments below.
The weather has significantly changed here in Sydney as we move from Summer to Autumn. Sat in a café this week I was busy rubbing my hands together to warm them up.
As my food arrived, I took a few breaths to become present and mindfully aware of eating (a new habit I’m working on!)
In doing this I slowed down enough to have the following realisation…
- My hands were cold, but they were not uncomfortable.
- It was a sensation, but it wasn’t unpleasant.
- My unconscious HABIT was “if I am cold, I must warm up” – my body was doing it on autopilot.
- I didn’t need to get rid of the feeling of them being cold.
- It was OK for them to be cold.
It was the perfect analogy…
When I first connect with clients, they are feeling unhappy about something, whether life or themselves.
Typically, they are also distracting themselves from it with super busy minds, and repeating the same thought patterns over and over again… Many of the very same thoughts that likely created the feeling in the first place.
What I have observed is the more they try to get rid of the feeling, to push it away, trying make it stop, intensely focused on “FIXING the problem” – the STRONGER its grip…
Transformation I find is far more likely (and kinder and more compassionate) if they can be ok with the feeling, become softly curious. Even ask the feeling “why are you here?”, “what would you like to share/ tell me?”.
This way we are not making the feeling ‘wrong’. The feeling itself can’t be wrong, the feeling simply IS.
The feeling is a sensation, that is here in the moment, this moment being the only ‘real life’ you get to live. As soon as we are wishing the NOW was different, “should’ing it”, then we are no longer “IN” the moment.
But no one wants to be unhappy?
It’s true that no one wants to be unhappy all the time, but it is ok to feel unhappy.
Emotions are energy in motion, they CAN pass by like clouds, if we allow ourselves to FEEL them.
Feeling the feeling allows it to stay in motion, the cloud keeps drifting and we move through the feelings. If we are desperately trying NOT to feel them, it actually stops the movement.
This isn’t a process of ‘thinking’ about the feeling, of analysing the feeling, this is about FEELING the feeling – embodying it, what does it really feel like inside your body, rather than what you think about the feeling in the mind.
Your body won’t tell you that you shouldn’t feel like this, or that so and so doesn’t feel like this, or ask why this always happens to you… that is all in your head.
Take your attention down into your body & FEEL it.
What does sadness feel like, where in your body can you feel it, is it warm or cold, squidgy, prickly, soft, hard – is it big or small.
How does your body want to BE with that feeling, does it want to be still, to breathe or perhaps movement would be helpful, add sound, yell, sob, sing.
This simple process can often allow the stuck energy to shift, change and even transmute altogether.
I would love to hear if this process works for you – let me know in the comments below.
Are you ready to begin living the life of your dreams?
To create a life of our dreams we first need to be able to Dream it, to Imagine it, to get our minds THINKING about it.
I don’t mean each night in bed we should be dreaming about our dream life, but one way to stretch your imagination muscle is to begin remembering your dreams.
Dreaming also supports creative thinking and solving problems with ‘out of the box’ solutions. Something we could all use, right?
I’m pretty sure you have heard and even used the phrase ‘I’ll sleep on it’, when making a big decision, and then woken up with a better solution in the morning.
So, how does it actually work?
When we dream, we switch off the rational mind. We get our logical brain out of the way. This means we are able to stop limiting the possibilities and our potential, we can even fly!
Hands up who has had a flying dream?
Whilst flying may be a step too far for you to believe in ‘real life’ it does allow us to connect ideas that we wouldn’t ordinarily. Ideas and concepts that rationally wouldn’t be linked in our minds.
This then allows us to come up with new and more creative solutions to our problems. So are you ready to give it a go?
Whether you remember your dreams or not, try this simple 7 step approach for just 7 days and let me know how it goes.
STEP 1 – Support yourself falling asleep – reduce blue light.
To allow yourself to drift off easily to sleep reduce your exposure to blue light.
What is blue light? The simple piece you need to know is that it comes from our devices – phones, tablets, computers & even TV (LED/flat screen) and it tells our brain that it’s still daytime – making it harder to fall asleep.
This means ZERO screen time for (at least) 1 hour before bed. That may feel impossible with our dependency and addiction to our devices but just give it a go for a week.
If your alarm is on your phone, set it & forget it an hour before bed (do whatever you normally do at bedtime, just an hour earlier & leave it there) & remember to make it a nice gentle sound to wake you up slowly.
STEP 2 – Set an Intention
Allow the simple thought of ‘I will remember the messages in my dreams tonight’ to pass through your mind before you go to bed. Once again you are telling this mind what you want it to do.
STEP 3 – Place a journal & pen by the bed
Taking this small action lets the universe (& again your mind) know you are committed to remembering your dreams. You are doing your part of the arrangement.
STEP 4 – Instruct your body/ mind to wake just before the alarm.
We all know how lovely this is and feel so much more rested when we wake up in a ‘light sleep’ cycle, than being hauled out of deep sleep by a screaming alarm clock.
Tell your body to wake you up before the alarm and you can drift slowly awake.
STEP 5 – Drift awake
Lie in bed for a few minutes after you awake, choose to stay in ‘dream land’ for just a little longer. Observe what is going through your mind.
Dreams can be slippery and have a sneaky way of dissolving if we try too hard to hold on to them.
STEP 6 – Write down the Theme of the Dream
Grab that journal & pen, but rather than trying to write down everything you can recall, just consider what was the overall theme of the dream.
Consider how do I FEEL? What might I have been processing last night?
Take note of any other key elements that stand out in your memory. This can be interesting to reflect on over a few days.
STEP 7 – Repeat – every night for 7 days
Or even better 21 days & begin a new habit.
Look at the daily themes and see what lessons might be hidden in there for you.
Reflect after a week on whether you’ve been feeling more creative, are better able to solve problems and make better decisions.
No worries. Stick with it. Keep inviting your mind to remember your dreams. Set the intention and keep your journal and pen ready for action.
Do you remember your dreams? Let me know in the comments below.