When your feelings have a tight grip on you.

The weather has significantly changed here in Sydney as we move from Summer to Autumn. Sat in a café this week I was busy rubbing my hands together to warm them up.

As my food arrived, I took a few breaths to become present and mindfully aware of eating (a new habit I’m working on!)

In doing this I slowed down enough to have the following realisation…

  • My hands were cold, but they were not uncomfortable.
  • It was a sensation, but it wasn’t unpleasant.
  • My unconscious HABIT was “if I am cold, I must warm up” – my body was doing it on autopilot.
  • I didn’t need to get rid of the feeling of them being cold.
  • It was OK for them to be cold.

It was the perfect analogy…

When I first connect with clients, they are feeling unhappy about something, whether life or themselves.

Typically, they are also distracting themselves from it with super busy minds, and repeating the same thought patterns over and over again… Many of the very same thoughts that likely created the feeling in the first place.

What I have observed is the more they try to get rid of the feeling, to push it away, trying make it stop, intensely focused on “FIXING the problem” – the STRONGER its grip…

Transformation I find is far more likely (and kinder and more compassionate) if they can be ok with the feeling, become softly curious. Even ask the feeling “why are you here?”, “what would you like to share/ tell me?”.

This way we are not making the feeling ‘wrong’. The feeling itself can’t be wrong, the feeling simply IS.

The feeling is a sensation, that is here in the moment, this moment being the only ‘real life’ you get to live. As soon as we are wishing the NOW was different, “should’ing it”, then we are no longer “IN” the moment.

But no one wants to be unhappy?

It’s true that no one wants to be unhappy all the time, but it is ok to feel unhappy.

Emotions are energy in motion, they CAN pass by like clouds, if we allow ourselves to FEEL them.

Feeling the feeling allows it to stay in motion, the cloud keeps drifting and we move through the feelings. If we are desperately trying NOT to feel them, it actually stops the movement.

This isn’t a process of ‘thinking’ about the feeling, of analysing the feeling, this is about FEELING the feeling – embodying it, what does it really feel like inside your body, rather than what you think about the feeling in the mind.

Your body won’t tell you that you shouldn’t feel like this, or that so and so doesn’t feel like this, or ask why this always happens to you… that is all in your head.

Take your attention down into your body & FEEL it.

What does sadness feel like, where in your body can you feel it, is it warm or cold, squidgy, prickly, soft, hard – is it big or small.

How does your body want to BE with that feeling, does it want to be still, to breathe or perhaps movement would be helpful, add sound, yell, sob, sing.

This simple process can often allow the stuck energy to shift, change and even transmute altogether.

I would love to hear if this process works for you – let me know in the comments below.

Be more Creative, Stretch your Imagination, Dream Bigger – Use these 7 Simple Steps to Remember your Dreams

Are you ready to begin living the life of your dreams?

To create a life of our dreams we first need to be able to Dream it, to Imagine it, to get our minds THINKING about it.

I don’t mean each night in bed we should be dreaming about our dream life, but one way to stretch your imagination muscle is to begin remembering your dreams.

Dreaming also supports creative thinking and solving problems with ‘out of the box’ solutions. Something we could all use, right?

I’m pretty sure you have heard and even used the phrase ‘I’ll sleep on it’, when making a big decision, and then woken up with a better solution in the morning.

 

So, how does it actually work?

When we dream, we switch off the rational mind. We get our logical brain out of the way. This means we are able to stop limiting the possibilities and our potential, we can even fly!

Hands up who has had a flying dream?

Whilst flying may be a step too far for you to believe in ‘real life’ it does allow us to connect ideas that we wouldn’t ordinarily. Ideas and concepts that rationally wouldn’t be linked in our minds.

This then allows us to come up with new and more creative solutions to our problems. So are you ready to give it a go?

Whether you remember your dreams or not, try this simple 7 step approach for just 7 days and let me know how it goes.

 

STEP 1 – Support yourself falling asleep – reduce blue light.

To allow yourself to drift off easily to sleep reduce your exposure to blue light.

What is blue light? The simple piece you need to know is that it comes from our devices – phones, tablets, computers & even TV (LED/flat screen) and it tells our brain that it’s still daytime – making it harder to fall asleep.

This means ZERO screen time for (at least) 1 hour before bed. That may feel impossible with our dependency and addiction to our devices but just give it a go for a week.

If your alarm is on your phone, set it & forget it an hour before bed (do whatever you normally do at bedtime, just an hour earlier & leave it there) & remember to make it a nice gentle sound to wake you up slowly.

 

STEP 2 – Set an Intention

Allow the simple thought of ‘I will remember the messages in my dreams tonight’ to pass through your mind before you go to bed. Once again you are telling this mind what you want it to do.

 

STEP 3 – Place a journal & pen by the bed

Taking this small action lets the universe (& again your mind) know you are committed to remembering your dreams. You are doing your part of the arrangement.

 

STEP 4 – Instruct your body/ mind to wake just before the alarm.

We all know how lovely this is and feel so much more rested when we wake up in a ‘light sleep’ cycle, than being hauled out of deep sleep by a screaming alarm clock.

Tell your body to wake you up before the alarm and you can drift slowly awake.

Now sleep.

 

STEP 5 – Drift awake

Lie in bed for a few minutes after you awake, choose to stay in ‘dream land’ for just a little longer. Observe what is going through your mind.

Dreams can be slippery and have a sneaky way of dissolving if we try too hard to hold on to them.

 

STEP 6 – Write down the Theme of the Dream

Grab that journal & pen, but rather than trying to write down everything you can recall, just consider what was the overall theme of the dream.

Consider how do I FEEL? What might I have been processing last night?

Take note of any other key elements that stand out in your memory. This can be interesting to reflect on over a few days.

 

STEP 7 – Repeat – every night for 7 days

Or even better 21 days & begin a new habit.

Look at the daily themes and see what lessons might be hidden in there for you.

Reflect after a week on whether you’ve been feeling more creative, are better able to solve problems and make better decisions.

 

Nothing?

No worries. Stick with it. Keep inviting your mind to remember your dreams. Set the intention and keep your journal and pen ready for action.

Do you remember your dreams? Let me know in the comments below.

Your thoughts become your reality – choose them wisely

Your thoughts become your reality; be careful what you wish for; your vibe attracts your tribe. All common catchphrases, but do you know why we use them or how they can be true?

If you struggle to accept these concepts using manifestation secrets or universal law, now neuroscience has backed it up. With thanks to Dr Joe Dispenza, I can share some of the science behind the words.

Thoughts become reality

What emotions dominate your life? Are they happy, uplifting, elevated ones? Wonder, joy, gratitude, love, kindness?

Are they low vibration emotions such as anxiety, overwhelm, stress, worry, guilt or anger?

Do you know that these emotions are most likely an end product of how you think?

So, how do you think?

What you think about life is how life will be for you.
 
Consider your personal view in the glass half full or half empty scenario. Do you consider yourself the optimist when it comes to a glass of water?
 
Yes? Now ask yourself, are you actually practicing it in your life?  
 
What phrases do you hear coming out of your mouth (or running through your mind) over and over again?  
I’m always late; There is not enough time; I don’t get any time to myself; I’m not focussed; I never get anything finished; I’m exhausted; I’m so stressed; I don’t like exercise; I’m not a morning person; I have no self-discipline; I’m not a creative person; I have no support.  

You can see how limiting these thoughts are, very ‘glass half empty’ and they are playing on repeat in your mind all day, everyday.

To weave in a little magic, consider this – what ‘spells’ are you casting with your words? The words you speak AND the words you THINK.

Being late was so ingrained in my family that we had a name for it! We ran on ‘Tipping Time’ (my maiden name is Tipping), friends even began to tell me to meet 15min earlier than everyone else.

I thought, for the longest time, that I was destined to be a late person, it was just who I was. It was frustrating and often embarrassing, but so hard to change.

All of these thoughts can affect what we believe about ourselves, how we feel and who we think we ARE.

Dr Dispenza describes this as “your personal reality becomes your personality”

I was always late, that is what was real for me, SO I became a ‘late person’, I believed that is who I was.

How thoughts lead to feelings

The simplest way to explain is this:

What you THINK influences what choices you believe are available to you

The self-limited choices will affect how you ACT or what you DO

What you DO will result in how you FEEL

It then cycles around again because how you FEEL will affect what you THINK.

Repetitive thoughts lead to similar choices and actions, and our choices and actions lead to the same feelings and emotional responses.

Consider another example:

Thoughts: My husband doesn’t support me, I have to do everything around here;

Most likely Choices/ Actions: In believing that he doesn’t support you, you may not even ASK for support, OR if you do ask it’s filled with so much emotional baggage from feeling supported that it leads to disagreements & not receiving the support that you want;

Feelings: Unsupported, undervalued

You are having experiences and feelings (your personal reality) that are supporting your belief – that you are not supported – driving your thought patterns.

How your body becomes your mind

You are riding a bike for the first time in 20 years.

You may THINK I haven’t ridden in so long, I’m not sure whether I can anymore – but sure enough you get on the bike & perhaps after a slight wobble, your body figures it out and knows what to do. Your body has become your brain, it is doing the thinking for you!

Emotional responses become learned habits, just like riding a bike, they become embedded in our operating system. They become part of who you are!

What emotional response habits are you ready to shift?

Tune in for Part 2 to find out simple tools to Choose to Change!

Do You Believe in Magic?

Do you believe in magic? I do and I love it.

“You have to believe we are magic, nothing can stand in our way.” Olivia Newton John

I’m not talking about a magician’s incredible sleight of hand, trick props or the fabulous ways they distract whilst performing incredible acts of illusion. I’m talking about the Universe’s magic, from synchronicities, karma, laws of attraction and manifestation as well to the miracles of mother nature and our own human bodies.


Jason Long

To me magic is anything that can’t be explained by our logical thinking brains. In Liz Gilbert’s book ‘Big Magic’ she describes creativity and inspiration as something that exists outside of ourselves: if we are lucky it might just pay us a visit from time to time; but if we ignore it, it might find another person to bring its magic to life.

Magic can be when you meet someone, you chat, you connect and before you know it you feel like you have known that person your whole life… maybe in some way you have… but you didn’t meet them until now. How is that possible? Is it Magic?

A woman who is a true mentor for me, a beacon of light who opened me up to a complete change in mindset. Taking me on a journey from overwhelm, anxiety and stress to joy, connection and ease –  yet nothing in my external world has really changed. As Wayne Dyer said, “change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change”. Easier said than done, but now I have seen this magic unfold for me.

This woman is Belinda Davidson of the School of Modern Mystics, and her teachings resonated so deeply, at such a soul level for me, that I consider them to be Magic.

Her school ‘The School of Modern Mystics’ taught me things I had only dreamt of learning & a way to find peace within myself that I never knew possible, yet her teaching approach is really quite simple.

For me, her truth that ‘we are all energy, we are all one’ is something I know, and always knew at my core. I believe it so very deeply and I hope that slowly, steadily, gradually, more and more people will come to find this peaceful realisation. Change your energy, change your life is her tag line and to do this she suggests meditation to cleanse our energy, specifically our chakras.

Starting with her Chakra Cleanse Meditation is something I would highly recommend. However, a challenge that I struggled with is that her ‘Chakra Cleanse for busy people’ is 35 minutes long. If you don’t meditate already then 35 minutes per day (or even 2-3 times per week) may seem like a truly impossible ask. Who has the time!

If this is the case for you then I can also recommend for you the most wonderful woman, who actually introduced me to Belinda’s work and was the true turning point in my journey, Amy Taylor-Kabbaz & her Happy Mama Reconnect Program. Within this program she will provide you with a 3-minute meditation… that’s right – just 3 minutes.

I found that doing this teensy meditation every morning & every evening was the stepping stone to a habit that will be with me for the rest of my life! Now a 35 minute morning mediation is not just possible, it has become almost essential in my daily routine.

I mentioned earlier that my life hasn’t really changed – married, mortgage, busy Corporate husband, 2 kids., but  in so many ways everything changed. We have moved interstate, new house, kids at a new school. I have completed my studies in Life Coaching & also with the School of Modern Mystics which has given me a newfound purpose & passion in life… and I KNOW that I am a totally different person from who I was only 18 months ago.

With an interstate move, packing and unpacking, being away from family & friends, the kids starting at a new school, making new friends, I could have easily gone into overwhelm – yet I was and still am calm. The whole process flowed and was relatively easy. Making the decision to move was hard and initially I was so sad, but slowly my emotion shifted – I began to trust, and I knew that it would be ok.

Our new home is much smaller, and needs a lot of love, with mozzies, mould & cockroaches, yet I love it… how can that be? What could that be? Is that Magic? Have I found my ‘Spiritual Home’?

Maybe I was clearer in my vision for the Universe and now I have truly begun to CoCreate my Life. It certainly can seem magical when things fall so effortlessly into place.

What does magic mean to you? I would love to hear from you in the Comments below.