The part of the science I found really fascinating was that we get addicted to the chemical cocktail our body fires off for different emotions we experience.
In the example I outlined in Part 1, the addiction is to the emotions that sit behind feeling unsupported, perhaps powerlessness, helplessness or anger.
This is why change is simple, but not easy.
Choosing new thoughts and actions sets of a reaction of discomfort from our body to our brain, something is unfamiliar & our body wants its usual chemical “hit”.
Being aware of the process can help us to stay committed to the change.
Without the awareness leading to us unconsciously creating a situation in our lives that feeds the craving. Confirming our underlying belief.
It is easier to stick with what we know than attempt to create something new.
Re-writing the program – Awareness & Consistency
Consider for a moment your most dominant emotion? Is it anger, worry, overwhelm, sadness, stress.
Now open your mind for a moment to a new reality.
Recall the line from the movie The Labyrinth? “You have no power over me”. As the lead girl says this line to David Bowie’s character and the “false” world begins to fall apart.
Our thoughts create a reality filter that is all our own, they affect how we see the world around us.
How is it that the ‘Ice Man’ can do the superhuman things he can do? Scientists are baffled! He has trained his brain & body to not be limited by what most of us believe is possible for the human body.
To begin to reprogram isn’t complicated, but it does need consistency.
To begin you will be walking a completely unmarked route through the jungle but in time it will becomes a clear and well-marked trail.
The 4 step process to your new reality
Step 1: become AWARE of the thoughts, and catch yourself each time. With kindness and self-compassion – “Hello thought, here you are again.”
Step 2: catch yourself in the old thoughts and STOP. “That’s enough, no more”. Or if stop isn’t working you can DISTRACT yourself, make a cup of tea, go for a walk, do something else to get out of your head.
Step 3: CHANGE – focus on a positive version, what it is you want, rather than what you don’t want. For example, my partner is always a loving support for me.
Step 4: add a FEELING, what would that feel like to feel supported – this feeling has a energetic vibration, a vibration that you WANT in your life. Where attention goes, energy flows.
Having positively reframed your thoughts, and changed your vibration to match, it is more likely you will enter into a constructive conversation with your partner.
This increasing the chances that you come out with the results you were hoping for, affirming the feeling that you are supported.
Repeat the new patterns enough times it will be downloaded onto your brains’ hard drive. You will have new happier habits to take forward in your life.
YOUR LIFE CAN BE LIMITLESS.
Have you had any big ‘ah ha’s’ reading this? I’d love to hear how your new thoughts have become your reality.
Why do coaches offer programs rather than single sessions?
Coaches almost always offer their coaching services as a series, or program often referred to as their “Signature Program”.
Why is that?
A series means a bigger investment for potential clients.
The series cost is often not published on their website, or is buried a long way down a well written sales page.
Before you sign up you typically have to book a free discovery session.
If you break the investment down to per hour face to face time it will generally be far more than you would pay to see many other health and wellness professionals.
So why do we do it?
Each of these elements would seemingly turn clients away, rather than have them step closer?
To ensure that this elephant in the room doesn’t get overlooked, there is a sales and marketing approach which that attracting a few ideal and soul aligned clients can be a better business model that having to constantly attract and book up loads of new clients by the hour.
BUT aside from this business planning element there is SO much more to it than that.
I invite you to take a journey with me, lets walk along the coaching series pathway…
Someone has a realisation that something isn’t feeling good, or going right about life.
Somewhere they have heard about life coaching and get curious.
They reach a point where enough is enough.
Now they have had a discovery call and decided to invest in themselves (even Warren Buffett is complementing them on such a wise investment decision) and they have their first session.
For possibly the first time in their lives, they have the time and space to really sit back and look at what life is like. To consider what they would like to be different.
Reflected and supported by their coach, they sit back and start to see lifetime patterns, often it just takes one small perspective shift for change to begin.
Next it is time to peel back the layers of what they thought they wanted, expected or were told to do by some authority in their lives, and to reconnect to the truth of what they want.
They are beginning to get to know their unfiltered, unmasked, true, authentic Self.
Having this new connection to self they will begin getting clear on what their self (& soul) aligned life vision is.
After establishing an empowering vision, they reflect on what has been stopping them.
It is likely that limiting beliefs begin to get louder and the space is there for those to emerge. These need to be seen, to be witnessed, to understand how and why they came to believe those things and then they can consciously and intentionally choose new beliefs, empowering beliefs.
Then it is time to get REAL. It is time to look at options, what can you do NOW to support that long term dream, that soul vision (& oftentimes soul mission).
The change process started back in the first session (or discovery call – energetically it began at the moment they said YES), but now they are looking at real, tangible steps.
These can be slow, simple and stay safe, or can be whirlwind fast depending on what it is they most desire to shift.
As perspectives have now shifted, possibilities are expanded and limiting beliefs have been replaced – what options are there for them now? Do they have choices that they couldn’t see before.
The whole coaching process involves deep inner work. A process similar to pulling up weeds and planting new seeds.
Sometimes a new awareness or perspective will invite instantaneous transformation, other times the process is slower.
Seeds need tending, care, time, love to grow into healthy new belief plants.
Behaviours become habits, and habits take conscious effort to rewire and retrain. The new saplings may die and need to be replanted.
Each and every coach will have elements that are unique to them, based on their entire life of personal and professional experience. I teach the art of co-creation and working with the universe because not everything will go to plan, but we can learn to ride the storms in new ways.
There needs to be space and time for all of that, and any coaches reading this will know even the journey I’ve just described is just scratching the surface.
In addition coaches spend time between sessions planning and preparing based on what has unfolded in a series so far and oftentimes (as in my own series) coaches are available between sessions for Q&A support, celebrations, check-ins via email or messaging tools such as Voxer.
Why is it hard to invest?
Yet, spending your hard earned cash – actually let’s start by re-writing that programming – your joyfully, abundant, gratefully received, value appreciating earnings – to invest in YOU the person, rather than in some ‘thing’ is hard.
Not believing you are capable of transformation? Or worthy? Or deserving?
Making an investment in yourself comes with no guarantees.
The scary possibility that you might open pandoras box & realise that the life you have created is not the life you want.
All sorts of limiting beliefs are in the way of making that investment in yourself.
This is why coaches want to get you on the phone, they can help you see you are worthy, deserving and see past those limiting beliefs. They can see your potential when you cant, they can see possibilities that are still veiled to you.
Coaches also know that they have to price their transformational programs at a level that feels a bit scary for the client, SO THAT the client is more likely to show up and do the work, but more that that, the energy behind making a solid investment in YOURSELF is so huge, it immediately gets the universe on board. It is asking for help & that help will come in so many ways.
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