Invite into your Life what you Truly Desire

what-do-you-desire

Have you heard the saying ‘your vibe attracts your tribe’ and ‘where attention goes, energy flows’?

This is the basis of The Law of Attraction.

There is now a significant amount of scientific research on how & why the Law of Attraction works. My inner geek totally LOVES the research, from the neuroscience to evolution, to psychology, to spirituality but we won’t go there today.

I am always aiming to keep the soulful, simple, so let’s stick with the basics of The Law of Attraction. So basic that I will be using a children’s book to help explain it.

The last few nights, my 9yo daughter and I, have been reading a book called Sara – Book 1, subtitled – Sara learns the Secret about the Law of Attraction.

For those who aren’t familiar with these teachings, Esther (& Jerry) Hicks have many books focussed on the Law of Attraction.

I have a couple of the books – Ask and it is Given, and the Astonishing Power of Emotions, in my rather extensive personal development home library, but I never really connected with these ones. BUT the teachings of Solomon the owl in this Sara book were written for children – and therefore so easy to understand.

The key messages in the book were –

  • We all have access to an eternal source of ‘well-being’.
  • We also have the ability to CHOOSE to keep our inner valve open to this flow and stay feeling good or to close our valve, and not feel good.
  • Without realising it, we are often focussing our attention on what we DON’T want, rather than what we DO want. When we do this we cut off our connection to this source of wellbeing energy.

A simple example would be someone cutting you off in traffic, it can be frightening and make us angry. It typically knocks us out of feeling good immediately. To imagine keeping our valve open and send love to that inconsiderate driver may seem a stretch, but that is what Solomon is teaching.

Whilst we are still learning this, we can have control over how long we then stay there, and whether we are attracting more of the same but staying focused on what we don’t want.

I know many people who will share the story with everyone they meet, and I wonder how much more this happens to them than to me?

If you believe in the Law of Attraction, that like-attracts-like, then it is easy to see how staying focused on what you ‘don’t’ want, in this case careless, inconsiderate drivers, rather than what you do want, safe road travel, is attracting more of the same toward you.

In the book, they play a game and my daughter and I decided to play too. Let’s call it the ‘yes’ game.

How can we begin saying ‘yes’ to what we DO want, rather than ‘no’ to what we DON’T want?

We discovered very quickly, as they did in the book, that it takes an effort to stick with the positive! And this doesn’t even touch on what we are saying to ourselves INSIDE!

A few examples from this morning “Stop doing that to your sister/brother”, “This is really hard”, “I can’t do this”, “No more screen time”, “No, you can’t have chocolate for breakfast”.

Making a conscious effort to create positive phrases instead would be something like:

  • Let’s go and play a fun game together;
  • With practice, this will be really easy;
  • I love learning new things;
  • I love connecting with you face to face;
  • Let’s feed ourselves some beautiful, healthy food so we have lots of energy for the day.

Obviously using your own words – but WOW – have a try and see just how many things you are saying in the negative, rather than focusing that attention on what you do want in the positive.

It’s easy to do so much of this, unconsciously –

  • I want to lose weight vs I want to feel fit and healthy and comfortable in my skin;
  • My kid’s fight all the time vs We have a harmonious home;
  • Don’t be late vs It’s great to be on time;
  • The house is so messy vs I love having a tidy home, it helps me feel clear in my mind;

Where are you creating a vibration, giving it your attention and attracting in what you don’t want?

Have a play & see how this goes for you, I’d love to hear about it – let me know in the comments below.

 

When your feelings have a tight grip on you.

The weather has significantly changed here in Sydney as we move from Summer to Autumn. Sat in a café this week I was busy rubbing my hands together to warm them up.

As my food arrived, I took a few breaths to become present and mindfully aware of eating (a new habit I’m working on!)

In doing this I slowed down enough to have the following realisation…

  • My hands were cold, but they were not uncomfortable.
  • It was a sensation, but it wasn’t unpleasant.
  • My unconscious HABIT was “if I am cold, I must warm up” – my body was doing it on autopilot.
  • I didn’t need to get rid of the feeling of them being cold.
  • It was OK for them to be cold.

It was the perfect analogy…

When I first connect with clients, they are feeling unhappy about something, whether life or themselves.

Typically, they are also distracting themselves from it with super busy minds, and repeating the same thought patterns over and over again… Many of the very same thoughts that likely created the feeling in the first place.

What I have observed is the more they try to get rid of the feeling, to push it away, trying make it stop, intensely focused on “FIXING the problem” – the STRONGER its grip…

Transformation I find is far more likely (and kinder and more compassionate) if they can be ok with the feeling, become softly curious. Even ask the feeling “why are you here?”, “what would you like to share/ tell me?”.

This way we are not making the feeling ‘wrong’. The feeling itself can’t be wrong, the feeling simply IS.

The feeling is a sensation, that is here in the moment, this moment being the only ‘real life’ you get to live. As soon as we are wishing the NOW was different, “should’ing it”, then we are no longer “IN” the moment.

But no one wants to be unhappy?

It’s true that no one wants to be unhappy all the time, but it is ok to feel unhappy.

Emotions are energy in motion, they CAN pass by like clouds, if we allow ourselves to FEEL them.

Feeling the feeling allows it to stay in motion, the cloud keeps drifting and we move through the feelings. If we are desperately trying NOT to feel them, it actually stops the movement.

This isn’t a process of ‘thinking’ about the feeling, of analysing the feeling, this is about FEELING the feeling – embodying it, what does it really feel like inside your body, rather than what you think about the feeling in the mind.

Your body won’t tell you that you shouldn’t feel like this, or that so and so doesn’t feel like this, or ask why this always happens to you… that is all in your head.

Take your attention down into your body & FEEL it.

What does sadness feel like, where in your body can you feel it, is it warm or cold, squidgy, prickly, soft, hard – is it big or small.

How does your body want to BE with that feeling, does it want to be still, to breathe or perhaps movement would be helpful, add sound, yell, sob, sing.

This simple process can often allow the stuck energy to shift, change and even transmute altogether.

I would love to hear if this process works for you – let me know in the comments below.